Thursday, February 12, 2009

Turbo Tim: It's all in the pre-sell

Turbo-Tim made his big economic speech and the stock market plummeted 4 or 5 hundred points. Well, being the type of person I am, I'm here to help. I've come up with the best idea in the whole world on how Turbo-Tim Geithner can sell his new economic plan to Wall Street. Two words: Bernie Madoff. Yep. Bernie Madoff. You know, the guy responsible for the biggest Ponzi scheme in the history of the universe.

Bernie successfully sold his scheme to thousands of folks. At one point Bernie had fifty billion dollars up in the air. Even more remarkable is that Madoff kept the plates spinning for nearly five decades before it all came crashing in. This guy may have been the greatest salesman ever!!! His client list was a virtual who's who:

Elie Wiesel
Steven Spielberg
Eliot Spitzer
Senator Frank Lautenberg
Jeffrey Katzenberg
New York Law School
Kevin Bacon & Kyra Sedgwick
New York University
Marc Rich
Zsa Zsa Gabor
John Malkovich
Sandy Koufax
Phyllis George

And!! It was all smoke and mirrors. Madoff doesn't have anything to do right now, so why doesn't Turbo Tim use him {or at least get some tips from him} to help sell the bailout? No need to have any substance, details, long-range plans, basis in fact or history. If Bernie could do it, so can Turbo-Tim.

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